I recently discovered that Facebook friends can’t tell if I’ve unfollowed them—WHOOP!—so I’ve started unfollowing with a vengeance. They’re all actually lovely people  but I just don’t want to see their posts for a bunch of reasons (like their political alignment/overwhelming need to take poorly composed photographs of their coffee/tagging themselves into their office building every morning).

Facebook noticed, and I was greeted with this:

(I don’t know if that title will be funny to anyone but me/people who read The Onion, but whatever.)